Today's new punchline:
"Wood eye ???. Well fuck you, hairlip!!"


The joke for the last punchline:
These two hillbillies are walking down the road and they see a big pile of shit in the middle of the road.
"What's that?", aks George. "Looks like bullshit to me.", answers Dick.
George bends over and touches it. "Feels like bullshit too".
Dick bends down and puts some in his mouth, "Tastes like bullshit too. Boy,am I glad we didn't step in it!"

Today's punchline for tomorrow's joke:
"Boy, am I glad I didn't step in it"


Joke for yesterdays punchline:
A very elderly Jewish couple can no longer make it on social security so Abe tells Sadie she has to become a hooker. So she dresses up in fishnet stockings, heavy makeup and goes out onto the streets. When she comes home, he asks, "Vell, how much did you make?"
Sadie answers ,"Twenty six dollars and ten cents."
He says, " Twenty six dollars and ten cents. Where'd you get the ten cents?"
She says, "Everybody gave me ten cents".

Punchline for tomorrow's joke"
"Everybody gave me ten cents"


Today's joke for yesterday's punchline

This guy gets his dick caught in a closing car door the day before his wedding. Hurriedly, to get him through the wedding, the doctor puts it in a box splint to heal.
On the honeymoon night, his new wife asks, "Please be gentle. I'm a virgin." He replies as he takes off his pants, "Big deal. Look at mine. Still in the crate"

Tomorro'ws punchline...Yesterday's Joke

Today's punchline for tomorrow's joke:
"Big deal. Look at this. Still in the crate"



and the joke for yesterday's punchline:

This guy goes to the movies and he always takes his pet chicken with him wherever he goes. But they won't let him with the chicken, so he sneaks it in by putting it in his pants. A little way into the movie, the chicken is gasping for air and so he unzips his fly.

The little old lady sitting next to him looks down, can't believe it, nudges her friend on the next chair, makes eyes towards the guy's crotch, and says ,"Sadie, you gotta see this!"

The other lady says , "Feh. I've seen 'em before".

and the first lady says , "Not like this. This one's eating my popcorn".

Today's Punchline and yesterdays Joke

Todays Punchline:
"Not like this. This one's eating my popcorn"



and the joke for yesterday's .......

This guy sees an old friend wildly shaking his hand, arm and finger as he walks down the street in a continuing, uncontrollable spasm. Not having seen him in years, he says, "I couldn't help but notice the way you're walking. Is that from an old war injury".
The other guy says, "Nah. Its a booger and I can't get if off my finger !"

See ya tomorrow

Today's Punchline

"No, it's a booger and I can't get it off my finger"

and the joke for yesterday's punchline:
These old high school friends bump into each other after many years. One says he's a lawyer and the other says he works at the circus. "My job", he says,"is to climb on a stepladder behind constipated elephants , stick a fire hose up their ass and loosen them up".

"My God , that's terrible", says his friend ,"Why don't
you leave?" and he answers,

" What, and quit show business?"

January 3,2007

Punchline for tomorrow's joke:
"What? And quit show business?"

Joke for yesterday's punchline:
This guy goes to join the Big Dick Club. Proudly he says to the doorman, "I want to join the club. My schlong is 18 inches long".
The doorman replies, ".... see the punchline below


Thanks, see ya' tomorrow

Todays punchline for tomorrow's joke:

"Well, mine's 23 inches and I'm only the doorman!"




Here's the joke for yesterday's punchline:

A young Foreign Legionaire on his first post in the middle of nowhere asks the sergeant what they do for sex. He walks him around back where a female camel is tied up, "We kick her and she sits right down", he instructs. The young legionaire kicks the camel and it sits right down. He drops his pants and in full view of the sergeant has sex with the camel, hitches back up and says, "How'd you like that?"

The sergeant answers, ".............